ANYWAY He's going to SMITE CHILDE WHERE HE STANDS ABOUT IT.]
I was brought on long before you were, you brat, and there was nothing secret about it. [BINCH. Also yeah Jester was apparently that dumb. It's fine. The Harbingers are a fuckin circus.] Again, I don't know why your brain got so scrambled on the way here, but you'd do well to unscramble it.
[Yeah they are. That's why their boss is named Pierro]
Come on, you've got to see how ridiculous that sounds. [WHY IS THIS GUY STICKING TO HIS STORY SO HARD. JUST GIVE IT UP LITTLE MAN.] I've been in the Fatui since I was fourteen, and I've never seen your face. Why would I remember literally everything except you?
[HE'S JUST SCOWLING AND SHAKING CHILDE LIKE A RATTLE. At least he's not trying to choke him out but it may just be because he values arguing with Childe about how stupid Childe is more than trying to give him what he wants (Fight).]
How am I supposed to know! You're the one spouting off all that stupid garbage, it's not my job to figure out why!
[Truly the worst thing about Childe is that his love for fighting renders beating him up an entirely ineffective method of punishment... but at least he lets Scaramouche shake him]
For all I know, you messed with my memories yourself! [The fact that this is true but Childe's literally just acting like a toddler]
How should I know? You're the one delusional enough to think--[you're the shogun or something he almost, almost says, but Survival Instinct kicks in just in time]--I'm going to believe you're not just some kind of spy.
[WHICH IS LIKE... CONCERNING IN ITS OWN RIGHT??? But it makes a hell of a lot more sense than "yeah we've just had a secret Sixth this whole time and everyone knew except Childe"]
Anyway, he just gives Childe another SCATHINGLY IRRITATED LOOK before finally releasing him and stepping back, crossing his arms over his chest.]
I don't have the patience to deal with this, or you. [ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS CHANGED.] What do you expect me to do, recount every pitiful moment that I've been forced to witness over the years? Do you want to talk about the time you started pestering me at four in the morning because of your awful Delusion and how excited you were to train with it? Or the first time you met Capitano and spent the whole damn meeting staring at him like a pining dog?
[HE JUST SCOFFS MEANLY because of course he does. Binch.]
First of all, I hated that woman. [He could be dragged to her funeral over his own deadass body!!] Second, I had better things to do with my gnosis than hand it over to the Tsaritsa, obviously.
[Is it smart to announce to Childe that he's even WORSE THAN A SPY he's a TURNCOAT(??)?? Maybe not but also he's deda, he doesn't care.]
[SO DID HE, BINCH!! AND HE STILL SHOWED UP!!! GOD. If he was gonna infiltrate the most powerful organization in Teyvat he could have at least done his job, thinks Childe, who went on vacation for like a year
Also swinging back around to the possibility of week 0 death--] You keep saying "my," but last I checked, the Raiden Shogun's been ruling Inazuma for thousands of years. Or are you going to claim that that's false, too?
Anyway yeah he's just casting Childe a piercing, imperious look.]
I don't have to explain anything to you. I've already told you what matters.
[PRIMARILY that the gnosis is HIS. He's also apparently done with this conversation because he knows his blood pressure is gonna skyrocket in .5 seconds with this line of conversation, so he's turning to leave. But like, on his guard about it, because he absolutely expects Childe to try fckin attacking him again. Headass.]
[SHOCKINGLY, Childe does not... he just leans against the wall, watching him go. He doesn't bother calling out THIS ISN'T OVER or THAT GNOSIS IS MINE or anything so ridiculous--if this "Scaramouche" is going to pose as one of his colleagues, then he should already know that Childe won't give up that easily.]
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ANYWAY He's going to SMITE CHILDE WHERE HE STANDS ABOUT IT.]
I was brought on long before you were, you brat, and there was nothing secret about it. [BINCH. Also yeah Jester was apparently that dumb. It's fine. The Harbingers are a fuckin circus.] Again, I don't know why your brain got so scrambled on the way here, but you'd do well to unscramble it.
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Come on, you've got to see how ridiculous that sounds. [WHY IS THIS GUY STICKING TO HIS STORY SO HARD. JUST GIVE IT UP LITTLE MAN.] I've been in the Fatui since I was fourteen, and I've never seen your face. Why would I remember literally everything except you?
[WHY INDEED.]
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How am I supposed to know! You're the one spouting off all that stupid garbage, it's not my job to figure out why!
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For all I know, you messed with my memories yourself! [The fact that this is true but Childe's literally just acting like a toddler]
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Me!? You're already enough of a nuisance even when you have two braincells to rub together! Why the hell would I put myself through this?!
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[WHICH IS LIKE... CONCERNING IN ITS OWN RIGHT??? But it makes a hell of a lot more sense than "yeah we've just had a secret Sixth this whole time and everyone knew except Childe"]
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Anyway, he just gives Childe another SCATHINGLY IRRITATED LOOK before finally releasing him and stepping back, crossing his arms over his chest.]
I don't have the patience to deal with this, or you. [ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS CHANGED.] What do you expect me to do, recount every pitiful moment that I've been forced to witness over the years? Do you want to talk about the time you started pestering me at four in the morning because of your awful Delusion and how excited you were to train with it? Or the first time you met Capitano and spent the whole damn meeting staring at him like a pining dog?
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Also, automatically--]
Hey, show some respect-- [TO KING HARBINGER CAPITANO BEST EVENTUAL OPPONENT OF HIS LIFE AND wait that's not important
...
NARROWS HIS EYES and crosses his arms over his chest]
Why weren't you at Signora's funeral, then?
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First of all, I hated that woman. [He could be dragged to her funeral over his own deadass body!!] Second, I had better things to do with my gnosis than hand it over to the Tsaritsa, obviously.
[Is it smart to announce to Childe that he's even WORSE THAN A SPY he's a TURNCOAT(??)?? Maybe not but also he's deda, he doesn't care.]
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Also swinging back around to the possibility of week 0 death--] You keep saying "my," but last I checked, the Raiden Shogun's been ruling Inazuma for thousands of years. Or are you going to claim that that's false, too?
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Anyway yeah he's just casting Childe a piercing, imperious look.]
I don't have to explain anything to you. I've already told you what matters.
[PRIMARILY that the gnosis is HIS. He's also apparently done with this conversation because he knows his blood pressure is gonna skyrocket in .5 seconds with this line of conversation, so he's turning to leave. But like, on his guard about it, because he absolutely expects Childe to try fckin attacking him again. Headass.]
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