[NEVER... HE DIDN'T STOP BOTHERING SCARAMOUCHE AS HARBINGERS AND HE WON'T STOP NOW!!! He grins at Scaramouche's eyeroll, because he knows that wasn't subtle and didn't mean for it to be.]
Well, it's not like Teyvat has a hell of this kind. If they do manage it, you can threaten to kill them permanently.
[He just makes a face at that because the PROBLEM IS the people that he wants visiting the least are all people he would actually hesitate to kill for real now. SO IT'D BE AN EMPTY THREAT!! This just makes him more mad. He's trapped in an ouroboros of inept fury.]
...Tch. If it comes down to that, I guess.
[It's not like he can create a barrier big enough to protect their wholeass planet, anyway... Maybe if he collects more gnoses.]
[NOT RIGHT IN HIS DELICATE NONEXISTENT KOKORO!!!!!]
Then you're going to want something in return. [Binch.] And that's even assuming we'll be close enough to work together. If I succeed, I'll be staying in Sumeru, you realize.
[Though he guesses he wouldn't really have any reason to not continue aiding the Tsaritsa, as long as he's not immediately booted for going rogue in the first place. Dottore was there, it's fine.]
You already know what I want. [He isn't the type to lie, but even if he was, he respects Scaramouche to be upfront right now.] But it's hardly an arduous request for me anyway. I like people more than you do.
[So texting him to be like "get Lu Bixing out of my goddamn hair" would cost him nothing.]
[Both that he already knows what Childe's after, and that swatting a few flies on his behalf would hardly be worth the exchange. He doesn't mind leaving things like that in Childe's hands, he GUESSES.
But for the question, he just nods. He still has a lot of complicated and now angry feelings about everything and so he's gonna run away and fight god about it.]
I know what her tricks are, now. She won't be defeating me a second time.
[Unfortunately Childe thinks this is perfectly valid? He also wants to fight god about his complicated feelings, it's just a different god and he's more over them than he's not, at this point. TERRIBLE.]
And then you'll take over and--do what, exactly?
[Childe would love to conquer the world but he has no interest in actually ruling it, so he's genuinely curious.]
[HELP. He should try fighting god anyway, for fun and profit.
In any case, good fucking question i hate it here so bad. But at least it's not like his goals departed that far from the general guides he was following as a Harbinger, because even though he's okay with Divine Power, he hates The Divine. So.]
Rule in her stead. Foster my following. Work toward dismantling the Heavenly Principles.
[Become the new moon, the answer to everything... Y'know, normal stuff.]
[LISTEN... SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA BADEND GENSHIN, PROBABLY. IT'S FINE. Wouldn't it be funny if he popped back right when Nahida was checking Irminsul for something and saw a SYSTEM UPDATE with new data about their hell trip or something]
Then we're on the same page anyway.
[But even if they weren't--all he really needed to know was where Scaramouche would be, honestly, so he could give his report to the Tsaritsa. He'll follow her orders from there, regardless.]
You'll be rid of me for a little while anyway. I was in Inazuma when I died.
[So he has to take a ship all the way back to the mainland anyway...]
Maybe if kids in your country didn't run into danger so often!
[GOD!!! Anyway congrats Scara is now the only person in the game besides the NPCs with even the slightest idea of how and why Childe died lmao. Also the audacity of him to say this when he ran away from home but that was different listen]
You would die fishing some child out of a stupid situation.
[WHY DOES HE SAY THAT LIKE IT'S A BAD THING. Of course Scaramouche is here to be like "perish" when any normal person would consider the implications quite heroic.]
[Just giving him a LOOK... Stop dying about kids, damn. They run Hell anyway, apparently.
But he'll just leave Childe and his dying over kids on pause for a second and go back to what he'd been about to say before he rudely interrupted himself.]
Chandra said you mentioned wanting to make a deal with me, but I guess it's null now, anyway.
[CHANDRA...... IF YOU'RE GONNA SNITCH AT LEAST SNITCH ACCURATELY]
No, I told him Her Majesty would probably make one with you. [And he only told him that much because he figured Chandra and Scaramouche talk about god things as it is. He's not actually annoyed by this either because he figured Chandra would tell Scaramouche anyway... these bitches gay...] She did it for Morax, so I don't see why she wouldn't.
[GODS ARE CRAZY AND ILLOGAL AND WEIRD but the Tsarista has no reason to shoot herself in the foot just because Baby God Scaramouche won't give up his rattle for naptime]
[He's right... They're little gossipy bitches who are out here constantly chatting about stuff...
Also fair and valid of her, literally hilarious. Scaramouche is definitely clinging to his gnosis jealously now that he has it back and is about to go back out into The Battlefield about it, but this is at least enough to keep him from getting riled.]
I know that she did. [EVERYONE BUT CHILDE KNEW.] ...I'll see how things turn out.
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Well, it's not like Teyvat has a hell of this kind. If they do manage it, you can threaten to kill them permanently.
[Or like. Actually kill them permanently. But.]
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...Tch. If it comes down to that, I guess.
[It's not like he can create a barrier big enough to protect their wholeass planet, anyway... Maybe if he collects more gnoses.]
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I can always keep them occupied for you, you know. [Childe's good at causing distractions, after all.]
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Then you're going to want something in return. [Binch.] And that's even assuming we'll be close enough to work together. If I succeed, I'll be staying in Sumeru, you realize.
[Though he guesses he wouldn't really have any reason to not continue aiding the Tsaritsa, as long as he's not immediately booted for going rogue in the first place. Dottore was there, it's fine.]
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You already know what I want. [He isn't the type to lie, but even if he was, he respects Scaramouche to be upfront right now.] But it's hardly an arduous request for me anyway. I like people more than you do.
[So texting him to be like "get Lu Bixing out of my goddamn hair" would cost him nothing.]
That's your plan, then? To face Buer?
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Well, I can't deny that.
[Both that he already knows what Childe's after, and that swatting a few flies on his behalf would hardly be worth the exchange. He doesn't mind leaving things like that in Childe's hands, he GUESSES.
But for the question, he just nods. He still has a lot of complicated and now angry feelings about everything and so he's gonna run away and fight god about it.]
I know what her tricks are, now. She won't be defeating me a second time.
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And then you'll take over and--do what, exactly?
[Childe would love to conquer the world but he has no interest in actually ruling it, so he's genuinely curious.]
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In any case, good fucking question i hate it here so bad. But at least it's not like his goals departed that far from the general guides he was following as a Harbinger, because even though he's okay with Divine Power, he hates The Divine. So.]
Rule in her stead. Foster my following. Work toward dismantling the Heavenly Principles.
[Become the new moon, the answer to everything... Y'know, normal stuff.]
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Then we're on the same page anyway.
[But even if they weren't--all he really needed to know was where Scaramouche would be, honestly, so he could give his report to the Tsaritsa. He'll follow her orders from there, regardless.]
You'll be rid of me for a little while anyway. I was in Inazuma when I died.
[So he has to take a ship all the way back to the mainland anyway...]
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Also all of this is important and he will get to what he was about to say next in just a second, but first and most importantly:]
--Can you die somewhere else next time?
[STOP DYING IN HIS HOUSES!!!!!! WHAT THE FCK.]
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[GOD!!! Anyway congrats Scara is now the only person in the game besides the NPCs with even the slightest idea of how and why Childe died lmao. Also the audacity of him to say this when he ran away from home but that was different listen]
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You would die fishing some child out of a stupid situation.
[WHY DOES HE SAY THAT LIKE IT'S A BAD THING. Of course Scaramouche is here to be like "perish" when any normal person would consider the implications quite heroic.]
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Don't say it like it's a bad thing...
[SCARAMOUCHE HATES DEAD KIDS SO MUCH AND FOR WHAT]
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But he'll just leave Childe and his dying over kids on pause for a second and go back to what he'd been about to say before he rudely interrupted himself.]
Chandra said you mentioned wanting to make a deal with me, but I guess it's null now, anyway.
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No, I told him Her Majesty would probably make one with you. [And he only told him that much because he figured Chandra and Scaramouche talk about god things as it is. He's not actually annoyed by this either because he figured Chandra would tell Scaramouche anyway... these bitches gay...] She did it for Morax, so I don't see why she wouldn't.
[GODS ARE CRAZY AND ILLOGAL AND WEIRD but the Tsarista has no reason to shoot herself in the foot just because Baby God Scaramouche won't give up his rattle for naptime]
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Also fair and valid of her, literally hilarious. Scaramouche is definitely clinging to his gnosis jealously now that he has it back and is about to go back out into The Battlefield about it, but this is at least enough to keep him from getting riled.]
I know that she did. [EVERYONE BUT CHILDE KNEW.] ...I'll see how things turn out.