catchall; gideon

[toyska]

I want you to know that on my journey to find a shitpost I learned what "pumpkin pounder" means

Comments

[toyska]

Combat! [Say that less cheerfully] I live--well, lived for battle.

[cavaliered]

[big grin.]

I knew I liked you. [she will never be mad about jocks who like to fight] It's fucking criminal that there isn't sparring shit down here. Not even shitty plastic poles.

[toyska]

[A JOCK AFTER HIS OWN HEART. The immediate expression of Mutual Understanding]

It's ridiculous! [FUCKING CRIMINAL IS RIGHT.] I was thinking of seeing if there's anything to make do with around here, do you want to look around?

[Let's property damage our way into some weapons]

[cavaliered]

[we're going to end up sparring with mannequin arms fight me with your mouthfingers]

Yop. [she immediately shakes out her arms and flexes her hands.] You familiar with places like these at all? Like a place to start, I mean.

[toyska]

[STOP THAT'S HORRIFIC]

Not really. Where I'm from, most vendors kept themselves separate. [No malls in Teyvat, just outdoor markets and such...] But there must be something we can take apart or break.

[A rack of clothing... chair legs... brooms and mops in some top secret storage closet... now that I'm thinking of it the gym probably has bar weights they could use but whatever he doesn't like it here so he's down for a little destruction

Tapping his chin in consideration--] Do you have a preference? [Of weapon type, he means]

[cavaliered]

[immediately and without hesitation (and with no small amount of wistfulness):]

Sword. Two-hander, the big shit. Longsword. [she peers around the room.] I can do knuckles and rapiers too, if pressed.

[toyska]

[She's so valid. He nods in understanding.]

I've trained with those before. [He's talking about the greatswords but tbh it probably applies to all three because he's insane] They're a little slow for me, but I love training against them.

[cavaliered]

You get me a longsword and I'll train against you all you want. I'm already out of practice.

[toyska]

If you'll do the same, you've got yourself a deal.

[She's got a deal anyway but he's covering his bases]

[cavaliered]

[holds out a hand!! shake on it!!]

[toyska]

[He will do so!! SHAKE SHAKE.

In the meantime, though, they can figure something else out. At least as long as their hosts are buttheads who won't indulge them... tch...

Though with that thought--]

What do you make of all this? [The hosts, the situation... the whole thing.]

[cavaliered]

Fucking weird.

[she says, after they've shook. her hands go right back into her pockets.]

This isn't how you die. Not where I'm from. [...] It's organized, but disorganized. Intentionally, right? Or that's how it feels.

[toyska]

[He nods.]

Your--[wait she said they're not friends]--colleague said as much too, that first day. She didn't say much else about it, though.

[But she'd seemed very confident that 1. they were dead and 2. this was the Wrong Death.]

[cavaliered]

Yeah, and she won't, 'cause that's how she is. Getting secrets out of her is like biting an iron box, expecting it to open. All it does is fuck up your teeth.

[what]

You can just call her my boss. That's basically what she is.

[toyska]

[HELP that makes him laugh, mostly because he completely gets it.]

Seems like our circles aren't too different. [This is probably not true. But also he doesn't even call his own boss "boss" so he lifts one shoulder in a shrug.] I'd say death frees you from anything you don't like. [QUIT YOUR JOB, GIDEON or don't, says Childe, who has not.] I'll just call her by her name, then.

[cavaliered]

[quit your job he says like gideon nav is capable of quitting, as a person,]

You'd think it would. Your whole thing is secrets too, huh.

[toyska]

[Quit your job* and join the Fatui (don't do that)]

Mine? [He hums, as if he's actually considering it.] Not compared to my colleagues, really. I prefer to be straightforward when I can. I won't deny that it's a large part of our job, but people hate us enough already. Telling them about what we do would just complicate things.

[cavaliered]

[based on what i know about the fatui gideon might actually enjoy it so you know.]

People hate you? Why's that? [she's nosy. or curious, but nosy fits.]

[toyska]

[I can't believe this is Childe's new goal (no) (maybe)

But, hmmm... how to answer this question...]

In the simplest terms, we're at war with the rest of the world.

[cavaliered]

[childe like would you like to join my cult]

Yikes. [ok] I was going to ask for good or bad reasons but we're in hell, so I'm going to assume you kick babies or something.

[this is not a funny joke, gideon]

[toyska]

I don't. [CHILDE]

[cavaliered]

[STOP SHE LAUGHS I HATE THIS]

Ooooh, fuck, but your little team does! Do you steal lollies from children, too?

[toyska]

[The worst part is that this is only half a joke]

No way! [DOES HE LOOK LIKE ITTO TO YOU] I have siblings, you know.

[cavaliered]

You've got siblings? [wow what's that like]

[toyska]

[WHAT'S THAT TONE FOR childe does not say because he is self-aware]

Yep! Six of them. [And, again, because he's self-aware--] They're not like me, though.