toyska | catchall; gideon

[STOP]

As in a really big hammer? How big?

Well, our Electro skimishers tend to be bigger than both of us, so... [He gestures vaguely to try and indicate this size, it's tough when he's being squished but he at least manages to convey Lorge probably]

[she gets like, sparkly eyed. that's so big... rad...]

Never used one before, but if I got my hands on it I'd try it.

They're too unwieldy for me, but if I get my hands on one, I'll give it to you. [A thoughtful pause, then he adds--] Or, if we manage to get out of here, you're welcome to come to Teyvat. I can't promise you'd get a Vision, though, that's not up to me.

[He's not sure she'll want to? He doesn't know the details of her feelings about her supposed death, or the idea of going home. But it's an easy enough offer to make, for him, so.]

[there's a pause, when he says that. you know, like it's easy - like she could just go somewhere else.

she's quiet for a moment, and then:]

If I get out of here, I don't think I'd be able to. [she says, finally.] Not because I wouldn't want to. Don't get me wrong.

[He hums--a neutral sort of acceptance, as if he had no expectations either way.]

Duty?

[she hesitates. and then:]

If I tell you why, you have to swear you won't go around telling people.

[He holds up a pinky finger; a throwback to the conversation they had on Saturday.]

Is this related to what you said about Harrowhark's memory?

[He assumes it's related to Harrow or the Ninth House in general, but he remembers she mentioned that Harrow didn't remember how Gideon died.]

[her lips twitch. and she links their pinkies. promise.]

In a sense. [she will roll off childe, for now, but she doesn't get up, just sits next to him.] If I go back, I won't be me, if everything went right.

It's a long story, but I'll be in her head, and if I'm lucky, I won't be conscious.

[She's lucky this took a turn because he was absolutely planning on taking advantage if her distraction and knocking her down but he won't do that when they're talking seriously.

He sits up and leans back on his hands, tilting his head slightly.]

If you're lucky?

[Did he just casually accept the rest? Maybe]

What, you would want to be passenger in someone else's body for the rest of forever, amen?

[she has escaped retribution this day...]

That sounds more like hell to me than any of this does.

Ah, I see what you mean. [He'd thought it was, perhaps, a case of her not wanting to be conscious in general, but this makes more sense.

He's quiet for a bit, considering.]

Are you sure that's something you have to do?

[she opens her mouth - and then pauses again, like she's thinking. like that reminded her of something. and then:]

It's already done. And I'd do it again if it meant she survived.

[but she sighs after she says it, rubbing at the bridge of her nose.]

[Is it, though? He wonders. But he doesn't mention that, since there's a time and a place for conspiracy theories.]

I know you said she doesn't remember, but she seemed very frustrated at having "doomed" you.

[she glances at him.]

... Doomed me? [the hamster in her brain running at top speeds] That doesn't make any sense.

[He nods.]

She said she died furious, because she was caught unawares. That it meant she'd failed at what she was born to do. [Which may or may not have anything to do with Gideon, but--] She specifically mentioned you, though.

[This was probably meant to be somewhat personal, but... well. Harrow never asked for his secrecy, and while he likes her, he likes Gideon more.]

[she tilts her head back.]

... She thinks something else got her. Before we ever got to that point. But here's the thing - she wasn't supposed to die. Not then, and not after. I've been doomed since I got dumped on the Ninth, she didn't do shit.

[He raises an eyebrow.]

Does she know that? Is she okay with it?

[Not that he knows her that well, of course, but Harrow seems very stubborn. He has a hard time picturing her being okay with either of their deaths--then again, she obviously has a different view on death than he does, so what does he know.]

It doesn't matter what she's okay with.

[gideon stretches, absently.] She's not the cavalier, so she doesn't get to make the decision.

[With another topic, perhaps, he would have joked--"what happened to boss's orders?" or something of the sort. For this, though, he just taps his fingers on his leg.]

...I won't tell you that you shouldn't carry out your duty. [He says, finally.] I thought I'd die in service to Her Majesty too. But I will say this--I have been to places that the divine can't touch. I can tell you, for a fact, that there are forces out there that can best even the gods. Whatever power you two are dealing with--there's almost certainly something, somewhere, that's stronger. Maybe even you, with the right tools.

[He shrugs, then.] Or maybe not. But there's usually a way to defy the odds, from what I've found. It wouldn't hurt to consider alternatives while you're here.

[He's not unrealistic; he knows perfectly well that he has no idea what she and Harrow are going through. Perhaps they truly did exhaust every possible option. But Childe is, quite simply, endlessly ambitious. As long as he draws breath, he'll move in pursuit of his goals, and even death and condemnation can't change that.]

[she watches him for a moment, letting that settle. rolls it over back and forth in her head.

there's a way to defy the odds, he says, but - she thinks, she already did that. the odds were stacked against them. this was the solution. this was her way, and it was supposed to work, but...

this is the second time in so many days that she's been told to look for alternatives.]

It's not that I want to die. [she says, finally.] And it's not even really about duty. I couldn't muster up a single fuck to give about the Locked Tomb, or anybody who lives on that dusty old shithole.

[she adjusts her glasses.] It's always about her.

[but that comes with an implicit agreement. maybe she'll look into alternatives.]

Sure. [Easy agreement, because he gets it. He would sacrifice the whole world for his family, himself included. He's hardly one to argue that particular point.] It just sounds to me like there'd be no her without you.

[That's what they do, after all. Knights, vanguards, cavaliers. Maybe it's a little too childish a mindset, some remnant of that storybook hero he'd once dreamt of becoming, but--it is still something he believes in.

(Granted, the knight needs their charge just as much, but--he doesn't point that part out.)]

And hey, if the only way is how you're expecting it to go, at least you won't be a set of bones doing her laundry.

[well, listen, for all the stuff she's said to people over her time here - nobody has said that, ever. nobody has just outright said there'd be no her without you, and so it shocks her a little, because she didn't consider this at all.

she's quiet, for a second, kind of just rotating that in her mind for a second. and then he follows it up with that last bit and she just - snorts, pulled out of her small shock.]

God. Anything but that. [... a pause, and then she pulls herself to her feet, and offers him a hand.]

catchall; gideon

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