But, ah--this is clearly a sore spot, which Childe files away along with his collection of other ways to instantly make someone fight you, and he'd have more fun with it if he wasn't trying to do his job. A pity.
Also, unfortunately for Scaramouche, they're both still nerfed and now Childe knows he fights dirty, so he dodges out of the way!]
Is that why you're passing yourself off as "Scaramouche"? [POSING AS A HARBINGER TO GET HIS HANDS ON A GNOSIS...??? It doesn't make a lot of sense tbh but it's literally the only idea Childe could come up with] I'm impressed you knew that that seat's been empty--you sure you don't want to join us for real?
[Childe stop recruiting people you're trying to kill]
[The way Childe's idea is so far-fetched and yet is still so much more normal than the truth.
ANYWAY. HE CAN KEEP DODGING BUT SCARAMOUCHE IS GOING TO KEEP COMING AT HIM WITH FULL FURIOUS INTENT TO KILL.]
What the hell are you talking about?! You've always been a nuisance, but dying really made you lose every last piece of brain you had that was capable of thought--
[u know i hate fight scenes so it's just bow pam whoop as he's talking. OR MAYBE NOT MAYBE CHILDE JUST KEEPS DODGING AND HE KEEPS TRYING TO DO A MURDER.]
[WAVES HANDS VAGUELY AS THEY WAPPY PAW EACH OTHER]
Correct me if I'm wrong, then! How else would you have gotten your hands on it? I know Signora got herself killed, but even she wasn't arrogant enough not to have any failsafes at all.
[to make sure some STRANGER didn't RUN OFF WITH THEIR GNOSIS]
Signora? [The way he all but spits out that name THE DISRESPECT.] I was the one who got this! As if that woman would have been able to get anything useful done there, with the way she was going about things.
[HE WARNED HER, MAN!! HE WARNED HER ABOUT BEING OVERCONFIDENT!!]
[Well, that distracts him enough to uhhh probably get slammed into the wall or something]
You were in Inazuma with her? [ASSUMING SCARA'S BACK IN HIS NORMAL CLOTHES that seems way more obvious in hindsight because his outfit truly just screams Inazuma, but look, he zeroed in on gnosis]
[HE IS BACK IN HIS NORMAL CLOTHES except for his stupid hat i refuse
He's also just pinning Childe to the wall now i guess. Not in a sexy way im so sorry siz, but at least he's not immediately trying to strangle the unlife out of Childe's cursed body.]
[Maybe it's not sexy for Scara-- no I'm kidding I can't finish typing that with a straight face
He narrows his eyes. ASSIGNED BY WHO... Pierro? The Tsaritsa??? It wouldn't be the first time Childe's been left out of important conversations but he's pretty damn sure even the other Harbingers wouldn't just wholeass choose not to tell him that they filled their sixth seat. AND WHERE WAS THIS TINY LITTLE MAN AT THE FUNERAL IF THAT'S TRUE, HUH?? Sounds fake to him.]
Then why was I sent to track down the gnosis after she died? [Explain THAT, mister]
Anyway this is so funny because of course Scaramouche isn't going to LIE like, what is he. Afraid of Childe?? Of course not. He's already got the fuckin gnosis again and also they're all dead, so why does he care!!]
Because it's mine. It doesn't belong to the Fatui - it belongs to me.
[We'll make it happen (childe x fighting scara every day)
Also Childe is just. Totally ignoring the "it's mine" stuff for now because even if, for some weird reason, it is true, he doesn't plan on letting it be Scaramouche's much longer,,,]
Uh-huh. And you expect me to believe that The Jester would've secretly, what--not only brought on someone directly opposed to our mission, but then assigned you to the exact task that would've gotten you what you wanted, at our detriment? [LIKE, HE DOESN'T KNOW THE GUY THAT WELL. BUT THAT SOUNDS REAL DUMB.]
ANYWAY He's going to SMITE CHILDE WHERE HE STANDS ABOUT IT.]
I was brought on long before you were, you brat, and there was nothing secret about it. [BINCH. Also yeah Jester was apparently that dumb. It's fine. The Harbingers are a fuckin circus.] Again, I don't know why your brain got so scrambled on the way here, but you'd do well to unscramble it.
[Yeah they are. That's why their boss is named Pierro]
Come on, you've got to see how ridiculous that sounds. [WHY IS THIS GUY STICKING TO HIS STORY SO HARD. JUST GIVE IT UP LITTLE MAN.] I've been in the Fatui since I was fourteen, and I've never seen your face. Why would I remember literally everything except you?
[HE'S JUST SCOWLING AND SHAKING CHILDE LIKE A RATTLE. At least he's not trying to choke him out but it may just be because he values arguing with Childe about how stupid Childe is more than trying to give him what he wants (Fight).]
How am I supposed to know! You're the one spouting off all that stupid garbage, it's not my job to figure out why!
[Truly the worst thing about Childe is that his love for fighting renders beating him up an entirely ineffective method of punishment... but at least he lets Scaramouche shake him]
For all I know, you messed with my memories yourself! [The fact that this is true but Childe's literally just acting like a toddler]
How should I know? You're the one delusional enough to think--[you're the shogun or something he almost, almost says, but Survival Instinct kicks in just in time]--I'm going to believe you're not just some kind of spy.
[WHICH IS LIKE... CONCERNING IN ITS OWN RIGHT??? But it makes a hell of a lot more sense than "yeah we've just had a secret Sixth this whole time and everyone knew except Childe"]
Anyway, he just gives Childe another SCATHINGLY IRRITATED LOOK before finally releasing him and stepping back, crossing his arms over his chest.]
I don't have the patience to deal with this, or you. [ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS CHANGED.] What do you expect me to do, recount every pitiful moment that I've been forced to witness over the years? Do you want to talk about the time you started pestering me at four in the morning because of your awful Delusion and how excited you were to train with it? Or the first time you met Capitano and spent the whole damn meeting staring at him like a pining dog?
[HE JUST SCOFFS MEANLY because of course he does. Binch.]
First of all, I hated that woman. [He could be dragged to her funeral over his own deadass body!!] Second, I had better things to do with my gnosis than hand it over to the Tsaritsa, obviously.
[Is it smart to announce to Childe that he's even WORSE THAN A SPY he's a TURNCOAT(??)?? Maybe not but also he's deda, he doesn't care.]
[SO DID HE, BINCH!! AND HE STILL SHOWED UP!!! GOD. If he was gonna infiltrate the most powerful organization in Teyvat he could have at least done his job, thinks Childe, who went on vacation for like a year
Also swinging back around to the possibility of week 0 death--] You keep saying "my," but last I checked, the Raiden Shogun's been ruling Inazuma for thousands of years. Or are you going to claim that that's false, too?
Anyway yeah he's just casting Childe a piercing, imperious look.]
I don't have to explain anything to you. I've already told you what matters.
[PRIMARILY that the gnosis is HIS. He's also apparently done with this conversation because he knows his blood pressure is gonna skyrocket in .5 seconds with this line of conversation, so he's turning to leave. But like, on his guard about it, because he absolutely expects Childe to try fckin attacking him again. Headass.]
[SHOCKINGLY, Childe does not... he just leans against the wall, watching him go. He doesn't bother calling out THIS ISN'T OVER or THAT GNOSIS IS MINE or anything so ridiculous--if this "Scaramouche" is going to pose as one of his colleagues, then he should already know that Childe won't give up that easily.]
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But, ah--this is clearly a sore spot, which Childe files away along with his collection of other ways to instantly make someone fight you, and he'd have more fun with it if he wasn't trying to do his job. A pity.
Also, unfortunately for Scaramouche, they're both still nerfed and now Childe knows he fights dirty, so he dodges out of the way!]
Is that why you're passing yourself off as "Scaramouche"? [POSING AS A HARBINGER TO GET HIS HANDS ON A GNOSIS...??? It doesn't make a lot of sense tbh but it's literally the only idea Childe could come up with] I'm impressed you knew that that seat's been empty--you sure you don't want to join us for real?
[Childe stop recruiting people you're trying to kill]
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ANYWAY. HE CAN KEEP DODGING BUT SCARAMOUCHE IS GOING TO KEEP COMING AT HIM WITH FULL FURIOUS INTENT TO KILL.]
What the hell are you talking about?! You've always been a nuisance, but dying really made you lose every last piece of brain you had that was capable of thought--
[u know i hate fight scenes so it's just bow pam whoop as he's talking. OR MAYBE NOT MAYBE CHILDE JUST KEEPS DODGING AND HE KEEPS TRYING TO DO A MURDER.]
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Correct me if I'm wrong, then! How else would you have gotten your hands on it? I know Signora got herself killed, but even she wasn't arrogant enough not to have any failsafes at all.
[to make sure some STRANGER didn't RUN OFF WITH THEIR GNOSIS]
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Signora? [The way he all but spits out that name THE DISRESPECT.] I was the one who got this! As if that woman would have been able to get anything useful done there, with the way she was going about things.
[HE WARNED HER, MAN!! HE WARNED HER ABOUT BEING OVERCONFIDENT!!]
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You were in Inazuma with her? [ASSUMING SCARA'S BACK IN HIS NORMAL CLOTHES that seems way more obvious in hindsight because his outfit truly just screams Inazuma, but look, he zeroed in on gnosis]
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He's also just pinning Childe to the wall now i guess. Not in a sexy way im so sorry siz, but at least he's not immediately trying to strangle the unlife out of Childe's cursed body.]
We were assigned the Inazuma mission together.
[The "FUCKING OBVIOUSLY" tone is so Present.]
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He narrows his eyes. ASSIGNED BY WHO... Pierro? The Tsaritsa??? It wouldn't be the first time Childe's been left out of important conversations but he's pretty damn sure even the other Harbingers wouldn't just wholeass choose not to tell him that they filled their sixth seat. AND WHERE WAS THIS TINY LITTLE MAN AT THE FUNERAL IF THAT'S TRUE, HUH?? Sounds fake to him.]
Then why was I sent to track down the gnosis after she died? [Explain THAT, mister]
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Anyway this is so funny because of course Scaramouche isn't going to LIE like, what is he. Afraid of Childe?? Of course not. He's already got the fuckin gnosis again and also they're all dead, so why does he care!!]
Because it's mine. It doesn't belong to the Fatui - it belongs to me.
[The way he isn't entirely wrong though.]
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Also Childe is just. Totally ignoring the "it's mine" stuff for now because even if, for some weird reason, it is true, he doesn't plan on letting it be Scaramouche's much longer,,,]
Uh-huh. And you expect me to believe that The Jester would've secretly, what--not only brought on someone directly opposed to our mission, but then assigned you to the exact task that would've gotten you what you wanted, at our detriment? [LIKE, HE DOESN'T KNOW THE GUY THAT WELL. BUT THAT SOUNDS REAL DUMB.]
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ANYWAY He's going to SMITE CHILDE WHERE HE STANDS ABOUT IT.]
I was brought on long before you were, you brat, and there was nothing secret about it. [BINCH. Also yeah Jester was apparently that dumb. It's fine. The Harbingers are a fuckin circus.] Again, I don't know why your brain got so scrambled on the way here, but you'd do well to unscramble it.
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Come on, you've got to see how ridiculous that sounds. [WHY IS THIS GUY STICKING TO HIS STORY SO HARD. JUST GIVE IT UP LITTLE MAN.] I've been in the Fatui since I was fourteen, and I've never seen your face. Why would I remember literally everything except you?
[WHY INDEED.]
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How am I supposed to know! You're the one spouting off all that stupid garbage, it's not my job to figure out why!
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For all I know, you messed with my memories yourself! [The fact that this is true but Childe's literally just acting like a toddler]
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Me!? You're already enough of a nuisance even when you have two braincells to rub together! Why the hell would I put myself through this?!
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[WHICH IS LIKE... CONCERNING IN ITS OWN RIGHT??? But it makes a hell of a lot more sense than "yeah we've just had a secret Sixth this whole time and everyone knew except Childe"]
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Anyway, he just gives Childe another SCATHINGLY IRRITATED LOOK before finally releasing him and stepping back, crossing his arms over his chest.]
I don't have the patience to deal with this, or you. [ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS CHANGED.] What do you expect me to do, recount every pitiful moment that I've been forced to witness over the years? Do you want to talk about the time you started pestering me at four in the morning because of your awful Delusion and how excited you were to train with it? Or the first time you met Capitano and spent the whole damn meeting staring at him like a pining dog?
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Also, automatically--]
Hey, show some respect-- [TO KING HARBINGER CAPITANO BEST EVENTUAL OPPONENT OF HIS LIFE AND wait that's not important
...
NARROWS HIS EYES and crosses his arms over his chest]
Why weren't you at Signora's funeral, then?
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First of all, I hated that woman. [He could be dragged to her funeral over his own deadass body!!] Second, I had better things to do with my gnosis than hand it over to the Tsaritsa, obviously.
[Is it smart to announce to Childe that he's even WORSE THAN A SPY he's a TURNCOAT(??)?? Maybe not but also he's deda, he doesn't care.]
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Also swinging back around to the possibility of week 0 death--] You keep saying "my," but last I checked, the Raiden Shogun's been ruling Inazuma for thousands of years. Or are you going to claim that that's false, too?
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Anyway yeah he's just casting Childe a piercing, imperious look.]
I don't have to explain anything to you. I've already told you what matters.
[PRIMARILY that the gnosis is HIS. He's also apparently done with this conversation because he knows his blood pressure is gonna skyrocket in .5 seconds with this line of conversation, so he's turning to leave. But like, on his guard about it, because he absolutely expects Childe to try fckin attacking him again. Headass.]
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