catchall; gideon

[toyska]

I want you to know that on my journey to find a shitpost I learned what "pumpkin pounder" means

Comments

[toyska]

[yeah

He thinks about it. This is the man whose magical girl Dark Souls transformation is called Foul Legacy so:]

"Barrage of Devastation Equipment?"

[cavaliered]

Close. Big Dick Energy. [is that close]

[toyska]

[Imagine if I chose this moment for him to forget what dicks are]

What does that have to do with battle?

[cavaliered]

[pixi]

It means that both my meat and my sword are huge and you should be in awe. [childe voice wouldn't a big dick get in the way of fighting..........]

1/2

[toyska]

[I just think it would be funny]

You know, there's a term for that where I'm from.

[toyska]

Overcompensating.

[cavaliered]

[immediately and without hesitation she tries to trip him]

[toyska]

[lmao]

[cavaliered]

[I'SMFKJSK

she looks so disgruntled by him just neatly jumping out of the way that this time she just tries to tackle him? no impulse control babyyyy

sundried flurbatos 😎 phdznuts Request: [1d20] Roll: [16] Result: 16 this is enough that she doesn't lose her leg bones in the process. if i'd rolled under 15 i would've made that happen.]

[toyska]

[HELP he goes down but he's laughing]

[cavaliered]

[this is cute

she just sits on him, folding her arms across her chest.]

I win. [but she's trying not to grin.]

[toyska]

[The weight of her BDE snaps his spine in half, killing him and freeing me of having to wake up at 8:30am on Saturdays


Alternatively: he just accepts this for now]

Have you ever considered warhammers?

[cavaliered]

[STOP]

As in a really big hammer? How big?

[toyska]

Well, our Electro skimishers tend to be bigger than both of us, so... [He gestures vaguely to try and indicate this size, it's tough when he's being squished but he at least manages to convey Lorge probably]

[cavaliered]

[she gets like, sparkly eyed. that's so big... rad...]

Never used one before, but if I got my hands on it I'd try it.

[toyska]

They're too unwieldy for me, but if I get my hands on one, I'll give it to you. [A thoughtful pause, then he adds--] Or, if we manage to get out of here, you're welcome to come to Teyvat. I can't promise you'd get a Vision, though, that's not up to me.

[He's not sure she'll want to? He doesn't know the details of her feelings about her supposed death, or the idea of going home. But it's an easy enough offer to make, for him, so.]

[cavaliered]

[there's a pause, when he says that. you know, like it's easy - like she could just go somewhere else.

she's quiet for a moment, and then:]

If I get out of here, I don't think I'd be able to. [she says, finally.] Not because I wouldn't want to. Don't get me wrong.

[toyska]

[He hums--a neutral sort of acceptance, as if he had no expectations either way.]

Duty?

[cavaliered]

[she hesitates. and then:]

If I tell you why, you have to swear you won't go around telling people.

[toyska]

[He holds up a pinky finger; a throwback to the conversation they had on Saturday.]

Is this related to what you said about Harrowhark's memory?

[He assumes it's related to Harrow or the Ninth House in general, but he remembers she mentioned that Harrow didn't remember how Gideon died.]

[cavaliered]

[her lips twitch. and she links their pinkies. promise.]

In a sense. [she will roll off childe, for now, but she doesn't get up, just sits next to him.] If I go back, I won't be me, if everything went right.

It's a long story, but I'll be in her head, and if I'm lucky, I won't be conscious.

[toyska]

[She's lucky this took a turn because he was absolutely planning on taking advantage if her distraction and knocking her down but he won't do that when they're talking seriously.

He sits up and leans back on his hands, tilting his head slightly.]

If you're lucky?

[Did he just casually accept the rest? Maybe]

[cavaliered]

What, you would want to be passenger in someone else's body for the rest of forever, amen?

[she has escaped retribution this day...]

That sounds more like hell to me than any of this does.

[toyska]

Ah, I see what you mean. [He'd thought it was, perhaps, a case of her not wanting to be conscious in general, but this makes more sense.

He's quiet for a bit, considering.]

Are you sure that's something you have to do?

[cavaliered]

[she opens her mouth - and then pauses again, like she's thinking. like that reminded her of something. and then:]

It's already done. And I'd do it again if it meant she survived.

[but she sighs after she says it, rubbing at the bridge of her nose.]