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Entry tags:
catchall; gideon
I want you to know that on my journey to find a shitpost I learned what "pumpkin pounder" means
I want you to know that on my journey to find a shitpost I learned what "pumpkin pounder" means
I want you to know that on my journey to find a shitpost I learned what "pumpkin pounder" means
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I didn't either. [she says, after a minute, flat out on the floor. miserably:] But not for a cool, tough guy reason. This sucks. I'm the lamest person alive.
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[He's throwing her a bone but he doesn't wait for her to take it.]
What was your reason?
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He's nice to me.
[):]
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If he'd intentionally murdered, would you have voted for him?
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Depends on how muahahah he was about it. [she says this half into the floor.]
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I wouldn't beat yourself up about it too much this time. The whole situation was ridiculous.
[LIKE... was it a baby choice, yeah, kinda. He's not gonna pretend like it wasn't. But he also doesn't think it's the biggest crime in the world to not condemn a nice guy to death because a shape-shifting octopus got creative.]
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Octopus can suck my nuts. [she mutters, bringing her arms up to cover her head.] Stop kicking me, assmunch.
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[That's not the same thing childe]
I'll stop when you're ready to go get some food.
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she stays on the floor for a bit longer, feeling sorry for herself. and then:]
If I eat I'm going to puke. [>:(]
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But he snickers.]
If you feel that way, you're going to do it regardless. [THEMS THE BREAKS KIDDO he doesn't call her that but it would be funny if he did] But you'll feel worse tomorrow if you don't eat.
[Childe doesn't know alcohol science he's just fake Russian]
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hrhghghghh. okay, fine. she'll very, very gingerly start to pull herself up to sit. she looks dizzy, but her constitution is stronger than she gives it credit for, at least.]
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But if she's actually going to get up then he will put his phone back in his pocket and move to help her. He's not going to make her eat a coffee lemon but he will make her drunk people food. That's probably the easiest thing to find in this food court actually]
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she does let him help her, though. she is drunk enough that she will lean on him if he lets her, though if there's any hint of hesitation or "wtf" she will stumble and suffer on her own.
she will take drunk food.]
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But no, he's fine with letting her lean on him. Like this, if she's not too drunk too pay attention, she'll probably notice that he carries himself with a slight degree of tension--the sort of active awareness of someone so used to bracing for threats, it's become natural to do so. He's steady, though; apparently he has carted drunk people around before.
However she's definitely bulkier than he is so I think it's funny if he complains--]
You're heavy.
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Your mom's heavy.
[it's instinct i'm sorry childe]
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She'd better be, how else would she survive so many toddlers?
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[And that was. Their example.]
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That can't be right. Right? [she is too drunk for this.]
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