catchall; gideon

[toyska]

I want you to know that on my journey to find a shitpost I learned what "pumpkin pounder" means

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[cavaliered]

[big brother vibes

she squints.]

That sounds like the most boringest thing I can think of.

[toyska]

And that's exactly what makes it perfect for training! Ice fishing is especially good for endurance, but even regular fishing is a chance to reflect on your techniques.

[It's just meditation but with food at the end]

[cavaliered]

[she just gives him the flattest look in the world]

Oh, you're one of those. [what does this mean]

[toyska]

[EXCUSE]

What's that supposed to mean?!

[cavaliered]

One of those people who think you've got to learn form when it comes to fighting. [ugh disgusting you fight by using anything other than vibes??? absolutely not]

[toyska]

[HELP........ he immediately drags her off to start learning a specifically tailored regimen--

--no just kidding. He makes an "ehhhh" kind of noise, wiggling his hand back and forth.]

Not necessarily. You don't have to do anything. [But the approach you take should change depending on what kind of fight it is, in his opinion; survival is very different from a test of strength. But he also knows that most people, even fighters, don't dedicate their lives to combat.] But I've found that it's best to learn as much as you can and switch things up as you need. Even formlessness has patterns, and people who are trained to look for them are going to have a much easier time spotting your weaknesses.

[cavaliered]

[this just makes her think so abruptly and forcefully of aiglamene that she instinctively rolls her eyes. it's not even that she disagrees, really, she's just an awful brat who can never remember to not block every attack that comes at her.]

It's not like it's hard to pick out weaknesses in other people before they get yours. [it can be, but gideon has one thing going for her and it's that she knows how to fight.]

[toyska]

[GIDEON YOU CAN'T TANK EVERYTHING!! GIDEON!!!!

He understands her perspective, though; he doesn't doubt her skill. He just knows, all too well, that there will always be someone, or something, more powerful out there.]

Maybe it hasn't been yet, but that won't always be true. Especially here, when people come from all kinds of different worlds. Besides, it never hurts to understand yourself better.

[And it's the best thing to do when you're waiting for fish to bite! Win/win!]

[cavaliered]

[WATCH HER]

God, you sound old. [what] I understand myself fine. I've got a big sword and BDE, I'll be good.

[toyska]

Really?

[He seems surprised??? This is what happens when you're the Jorts of the Fatui and literally everyone you work with is like hundreds or thousands of years old

Also, unfortunately--]

What's "BDE"?

[cavaliered]

[the jorts of the fatui]

Guess.

[toyska]

[yeah

He thinks about it. This is the man whose magical girl Dark Souls transformation is called Foul Legacy so:]

"Barrage of Devastation Equipment?"

[cavaliered]

Close. Big Dick Energy. [is that close]

[toyska]

[Imagine if I chose this moment for him to forget what dicks are]

What does that have to do with battle?

[cavaliered]

[pixi]

It means that both my meat and my sword are huge and you should be in awe. [childe voice wouldn't a big dick get in the way of fighting..........]

1/2

[toyska]

[I just think it would be funny]

You know, there's a term for that where I'm from.

[toyska]

Overcompensating.

[cavaliered]

[immediately and without hesitation she tries to trip him]

[toyska]

[lmao]

[cavaliered]

[I'SMFKJSK

she looks so disgruntled by him just neatly jumping out of the way that this time she just tries to tackle him? no impulse control babyyyy

sundried flurbatos 😎 phdznuts Request: [1d20] Roll: [16] Result: 16 this is enough that she doesn't lose her leg bones in the process. if i'd rolled under 15 i would've made that happen.]

[toyska]

[HELP he goes down but he's laughing]

[cavaliered]

[this is cute

she just sits on him, folding her arms across her chest.]

I win. [but she's trying not to grin.]

[toyska]

[The weight of her BDE snaps his spine in half, killing him and freeing me of having to wake up at 8:30am on Saturdays


Alternatively: he just accepts this for now]

Have you ever considered warhammers?

[cavaliered]

[STOP]

As in a really big hammer? How big?

[toyska]

Well, our Electro skimishers tend to be bigger than both of us, so... [He gestures vaguely to try and indicate this size, it's tough when he's being squished but he at least manages to convey Lorge probably]